carmel1110

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carmel1110

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4590
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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carmel1110's page activity

Visits<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 1:37am<b>Siehnados</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:32pm<b>XxMuFaSaxX</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 11:02pm<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 12:40pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:05pm<b>SWEET_CS</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 3:18pm<b>Crazion</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:16pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:24pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:00am<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:15pm<b>rnayyyyy</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:46am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:03pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:24pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:53am<b>TheSquire</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:11pm<b>RWBYRose</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:37pm<b>abattior</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:36am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 8:27am

Fucked!<b>xFade26</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:47am

carmel1110's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of carmel1110's badges

carmel1110's favorite FMLs

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

by is there a environmental scientist in the house? / 03/05/2013 at 3:48am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

by nopanties / 03/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

by phatdaddy62 / 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

by UnluckyInk / 02/18/2013 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

by bettercallpeta / 02/15/2013 at 12:42am / United States / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

by thefriedman / 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy