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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10110) - you deserved it (41068)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML
I agree, your life sucks (67892) - you deserved it (3905)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Tuck_My_Life (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49667) - you deserved it (13469)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55148) - you deserved it (2325)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47481) - you deserved it (2359)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:25pm - love - by Inga44 (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62223) - you deserved it (10405)
On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34564) - you deserved it (14579)
On 07/12/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by Dee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27988) - you deserved it (47184)
On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (8245)
On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17173) - you deserved it (43480)
On 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9099) - you deserved it (61032)
On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (70191)
On 04/01/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Casino (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25890) - you deserved it (60419)
On 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Jim (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462599) - you deserved it (574650)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67116) - you deserved it (13489)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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