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blake0196

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blake0196

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  • Number of visits : 49
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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blake0196's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59420) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28966) - you deserved it (1889)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (1601)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44756) - you deserved it (6450)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44756) - you deserved it (6450)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

#20077908
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28323) - you deserved it (3373)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (3775)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

#20074444
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8005) - you deserved it (52918)

On 09/16/2012 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

#20071794
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (2323)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

#20070762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26101) - you deserved it (4584)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (7371)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

#20070673
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18235) - you deserved it (3209)

On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23730) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22886) - you deserved it (1998)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML

#19750799
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9124) - you deserved it (33896)

On 06/07/2012 at 5:26pm - health - by sh3n-D (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)



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