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blackwidowtaco

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blackwidowtaco
  • Town/Country : asalama, lakem
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 989
  • Number of comments : 435
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

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50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

#19092499
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (3146)

On 02/16/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Jeathrow - United States (California)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (9067)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I made a Sim of myself and had her work out until she was completely fit, then got her a job and a husband. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk, fat, single and jobless. FML

#19013496
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13491) - you deserved it (35726)

On 02/06/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

#18917504
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (2336) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/26/2012 at 5:08pm - health - by Jen_ - France

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31119) - you deserved it (3886)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15693) - you deserved it (28937)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24039) - you deserved it (13185)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (4874)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML

#18568632
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (2487)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by sigh (woman) - United States

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30060) - you deserved it (6067)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14435) - you deserved it (32278)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (67989)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (68927)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10927) - you deserved it (54091)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon



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