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blackwidowtaco

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blackwidowtaco
  • Town/Country : asalama, lakem
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1001
  • Number of comments : 435
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

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blackwidowtaco's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (3779) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

#19603666
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15855) - you deserved it (1263)

On 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by brannonjames - United States

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

#19552160
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10980) - you deserved it (22220)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:24am - work - by zomg - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6182) - you deserved it (27020)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (1717)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML

#19516000
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9228) - you deserved it (16264)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:22am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16895) - you deserved it (2178)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

#19460207
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6673) - you deserved it (16989)

On 04/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

#19399007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21217) - you deserved it (6308)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19056) - you deserved it (1625)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11802) - you deserved it (31040)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

#19276871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18366) - you deserved it (1978)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

#19247694
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7978) - you deserved it (34422)

On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7516) - you deserved it (40059)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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