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Offline (the 09/18/2015 at 7:21am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5195
  • Number of comments : 477
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

blackwidowtaco's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:00pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:28am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:57am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:05pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:30pm<b>i_lik_tomaters</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:25am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:26am<b>Ebola</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:30pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:08pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:42am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:19am<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:05am<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:58am<b>saocrates</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 6:13am<b>Paris25</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:27am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:22am

Fucked!<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 2:28am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 8:41pm<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:23pm

blackwidowtaco's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50264) - you deserved it (19303)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47363) - you deserved it (4432)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49873) - you deserved it (4212)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50378) - you deserved it (4173)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50745) - you deserved it (7802)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44496) - you deserved it (3767)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (76906)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48437) - you deserved it (7479)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (52859) - you deserved it (8494)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42972) - you deserved it (3839)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (51290) - you deserved it (14335)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39192) - you deserved it (17813)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14662) - you deserved it (36280)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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