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blackwidowtaco

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blackwidowtaco
  • Town/Country : asalama, lakem
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1051
  • Number of comments : 435
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

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blackwidowtaco's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14305) - you deserved it (27375)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19613) - you deserved it (11074)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

#20005160
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (1923)

On 08/06/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by mississippi123 - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

#20002371
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7734) - you deserved it (19829)

On 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm - kids - by me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

#20001897
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18301) - you deserved it (3294)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#19996782
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25823) - you deserved it (29319)

On 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (3864)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33452) - you deserved it (8601)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5674) - you deserved it (76937)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20302) - you deserved it (2694)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19182) - you deserved it (6385)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML

#19637949
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18050) - you deserved it (2039)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm - work - by poseidon5213 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7325) - you deserved it (31193)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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