About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.
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Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (2417)
On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35615) - you deserved it (4903)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26113) - you deserved it (2617)
On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (4391)
On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -
Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (2548)
On 12/24/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by hahahano (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (4769)
On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9248) - you deserved it (63934)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25260) - you deserved it (3504)
On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9842) - you deserved it (44497)
On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (20801)
On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)
Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17795) - you deserved it (3032)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (7500)
On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States
Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (3061)
On 09/08/2010 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (11290)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7075) - you deserved it (36061)
On 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Grace (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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