blackwidowtaco

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Offline (the 09/18/2015 at 7:21am)

blackwidowtaco

3Fucked!

blackwidowtaco
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5917
  • Number of comments : 477
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

blackwidowtaco's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 9:58pm<b>dno79</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:58am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:30pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:00pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:28am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:57am<b>rogwest</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:30pm<b>i_lik_tomaters</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:25am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:26am<b>Ebola</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:30pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:08pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:42am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:19am<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:05am<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:58am

Fucked!<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 2:28am<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:23pm

blackwidowtaco's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of blackwidowtaco's badges

blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

by swana99 / 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

by D / 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

by the other man / 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 10:29am / United States / Love

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

by names suck and so do I / 08/08/2013 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Love