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blackwidowtaco

Offline (the 09/18/2015 at 7:21am) | Search for a member

blackwidowtaco

3Fucked!

blackwidowtaco
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5599
  • Number of comments : 477
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

blackwidowtaco's page activity

Visits<b>dno79</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:58am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:30pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:00pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:28am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:57am<b>rogwest</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:30pm<b>i_lik_tomaters</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:25am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:26am<b>Ebola</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:30pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:08pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:42am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:19am<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:05am<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:58am<b>saocrates</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 6:13am

Fucked!<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 2:28am<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:23pm

blackwidowtaco's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of blackwidowtaco's badges

blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (62173)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

#20980593
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44746) - you deserved it (4095)

On 12/04/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56088) - you deserved it (8141)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (6810)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53307) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54806) - you deserved it (7550)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42094) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was using the bathroom at McDonald's when my wallet fell out of my pocket. A lady reached into my stall and tried to grab it. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66577) - you deserved it (27158)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

#20900504
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41701) - you deserved it (2743)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

#20892597
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43195) - you deserved it (4759)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:27am - work - by peejay6831 (woman) - United States

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

#20892563
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37825) - you deserved it (5812)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:48am - kids - by numbnuts (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40979) - you deserved it (3124)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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