About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.
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Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (42217)
Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14224) - you deserved it (41684)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24110) - you deserved it (3704)
On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States
Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (1842)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm - misc - by brit (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (2304)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4471)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (2405)
On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)
Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (1565)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (3955)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (27441)
On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18411) - you deserved it (3700)
On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36140) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (4962)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31049) - you deserved it (8235)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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