Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blackwidowtaco

Search for a member

blackwidowtaco

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2048
  • Number of comments : 435
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

blackwidowtaco's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:44pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:29am<b>ZaroraQuinsey</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:34am<b>yehyeh</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:22am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:13am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 7:10pm<b>DEATHBYEX1LE</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 1:17am<b>tallbaby9891</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 1:56pm<b>Kain713</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 9:24pm<b>Rodux16</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 11:25pm<b>k34nu</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 5:18pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 4:23am<b>dravvy</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:10am<b>CorpsmanUp88</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 10:59pm<b>AdamTR</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:21pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 2:27pm

blackwidowtaco's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of blackwidowtaco's badges

blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (74011)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45513) - you deserved it (7140)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49855) - you deserved it (8179)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40107) - you deserved it (3585)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48134) - you deserved it (13757)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14545) - you deserved it (36040)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39633) - you deserved it (16938)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39633) - you deserved it (16938)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (5814)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43545) - you deserved it (3230)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37079) - you deserved it (3331)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

#20550428
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28379) - you deserved it (8230)

On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43985) - you deserved it (6710)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30743) - you deserved it (3184)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16213) - you deserved it (34621)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: