About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs
Today, I told my dad I was gonna to start working out again. He looked at me with honest confusion on his face and said, "You worked out before?" My mother started laughing. She was all the way upstairs. FML
by LukesSkyWalker / 06/22/2015 at 4:35pm / United States / Health
by bootyislife / 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm / United States / Work
Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML
by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Kids
Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 3:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by FreshDonuts / 02/28/2015 at 12:03am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by driverboy / 12/31/2014 at 3:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by CalebNotShomo / 12/25/2014 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML
by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by fishtacos / 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by spreadburger / 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…