Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blackwidowtaco

Online | Search for a member

blackwidowtaco

3Fucked!

blackwidowtaco
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4814
  • Number of comments : 464
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

blackwidowtaco's page activity

Visits<b>oakcrush</b> - 10 hours ago<b>AustinDenton</b> - 14 hours ago<b>arano</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - yesterday at 8:28pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:41pm<b>xKG33x</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:18pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 7:28am<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:23am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:40pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:46pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 10:01pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:31am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:21am<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 1:05pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:52pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:44pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:29am<b>ZaroraQuinsey</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:34am

Fucked!<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - yesterday at 2:28am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 8:41pm<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:23pm

blackwidowtaco's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of blackwidowtaco's badges

blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48114) - you deserved it (5044)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47178) - you deserved it (4042)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54796) - you deserved it (19860)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47013) - you deserved it (34522)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

#21062139
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39925) - you deserved it (6072)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:37am - misc - by snowlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49889) - you deserved it (8382)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (6990)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35105) - you deserved it (57163)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54552) - you deserved it (7951)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39535) - you deserved it (3503)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44382) - you deserved it (6598)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51237) - you deserved it (4360)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52911) - you deserved it (7315)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39590) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: