About benhd1 : Hi!
My name's Ben Howard, I like knitting, unicorns and long walks along moonlit beaches. In fact, I once saw a unicorn while walking along the beach at midnight, which I then stabbed with my knitting needle.
My sense of humour often offends people. I'm sorry I didn't know your seventh cousin twice removed has Tourette's syndrome, and frankly I'll work right on learning every little detail about you, stranger, so as not to offend little old you. And thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to come up to me on the street and interrupt my private conversation.
About benhd1 : Hi!
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benhd1's favorite FMLs
by baby, baby no / 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
by markderanjer / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love
by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 3:54am / South Africa / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids
by / 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML
by orgasmsareoverratedanyway / 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm / Norway (Nordland) / Intimacy
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
by smashed / 09/24/2012 at 10:33am / United States / Kids
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…