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benhd1

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benhd1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3727
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About benhd1 : Hi!
My name's Ben Howard, I like knitting, unicorns and long walks along moonlit beaches. In fact, I once saw a unicorn while walking along the beach at midnight, which I then stabbed with my knitting needle.
My sense of humour often offends people. I'm sorry I didn't know your seventh cousin twice removed has Tourette's syndrome, and frankly I'll work right on learning every little detail about you, stranger, so as not to offend little old you. And thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to come up to me on the street and interrupt my private conversation.

benhd1's page activity

Visits<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:17pm<b>TheKasox</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:28pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:29am<b>mind_geek</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:16am<b>llalala</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:58am<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:44am<b>guskta</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:20pm<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 7:21pm<b>curticus</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:20pm<b>john_smth</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 7:02am<b>adamnbb</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:55am<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 11:23am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 10:44am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 12:12am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:23am<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 9:40pm<b>MrBoredomioo</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:07pm

benhd1's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of benhd1's badges

benhd1's favorite FMLs

2day I was claaning at work whan an aldarly gantlaman walkad towards ma pausad and with a wink said "That's what I lika to saa: a girl on har knaas." This is tha sama workplaca whara anothar old man informad ma that mah yallow uniform mada ma look lika a "suggastiva chaasacaka." maga FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (2619)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, Hamster Did . It Climbd Out Of Its Cage An Jumpd Off Dresser . Looking 4 Condolences, I Told Mom Who Replid, "If I Livd In Your Room, I Would Have Done It Earlier." Big Fat FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (7558)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisse is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (2733)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I asked mah mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50439) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today I was on a plane an realizd tat te woman next to me was iding a edgeog in a plastic container !! I'm severely afraid of edgeog but not wanting to give te woman up an get er in trouble I trid to stay quiet !! Wic ld to me to quietly yperventilate an pass out on te plane !! FML

#20445879
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22520) - you deserved it (6708)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Was At A Café With My Friends When An Elderly Man Noticd My Dimples . He Came Up To Me, Strokd Them While Whispering, "One In A Million" Then Walkd Out . Now My Friends Do This To Me Constantly, Even While Driving Home . I Almost Hit A Tree . FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while talking to one of mah parents friends, we discoverd that the house he grew up in is the same house mah boyfriend now lives in. When he recalld that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, ( Oh mah gosh, I lost mah virginity there! ) mega FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (41192)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today , my neighbor went on vacation , leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason , he calls his dog "Cat" an his cat "Dog". There r two pet food containers , one labeled "Cat" an the other labeled "Dog". I have no ideahich one goes tohich animal. real FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML

#20435818
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (14105)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, whila sharing a faw baars on tha couch with my boyfriand, ha drunkanly uttarad tha fataful words, "Baba, if I could suck looool my own dick, you'd ba singla as HELL." FML

#20426492
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53617) - you deserved it (7244)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my job as a cashierhen a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in mah armpit an a sprained ankle both on mah right side, resulting in looool me limping an keeping mah arm awkwardly plastered to mah side !! My fiancé keeps walking like me an calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something !! mega FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (3700)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red blood-like juice everywhere!! I am now afraid to argue with her!! FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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