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benhd1

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benhd1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2304
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About benhd1 : Hi!
My name's Ben Howard, I like knitting, unicorns and long walks along moonlit beaches. In fact, I once saw a unicorn while walking along the beach at midnight, which I then stabbed with my knitting needle.
My sense of humour often offends people. I'm sorry I didn't know your seventh cousin twice removed has Tourette's syndrome, and frankly I'll work right on learning every little detail about you, stranger, so as not to offend little old you. And thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to come up to me on the street and interrupt my private conversation.

benhd1's page activity

Visits<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:44am<b>guskta</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:20pm<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 7:21pm<b>curticus</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:20pm<b>john_smth</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 7:02am<b>adamnbb</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:55am<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 11:23am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 10:44am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 12:12am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:23am<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 9:40pm<b>MrBoredomioo</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:07pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 5:08pm<b>SnazzyKing123</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:33am<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 3:22pm<b>IrishGirl12</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:33am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:03am

benhd1's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of benhd1's badges

benhd1's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
925 comments

I agree, your life sucks (348183) - you deserved it (38601)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (47699)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (67274)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243279) - you deserved it (32113)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (253578) - you deserved it (59816)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11603) - you deserved it (45059)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10092) - you deserved it (39163)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (231931) - you deserved it (81178)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML



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