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benhd1

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benhd1
  • Town/Country : Vienna, Austria
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1580
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About benhd1 : Hi!
My name's Ben Howard, I like knitting, unicorns and long walks along moonlit beaches. In fact, I once saw a unicorn while walking along the beach at midnight, which I then stabbed with my knitting needle.
My sense of humour often offends people. I'm sorry I didn't know your seventh cousin twice removed has Tourette's syndrome, and frankly I'll work right on learning every little detail about you, stranger, so as not to offend little old you. And thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to come up to me on the street and interrupt my private conversation.

benhd1's last visitors

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benhd1's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of benhd1's badges

benhd1's favorite FMLs

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (3707)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (7724)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (2675)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (2801)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

#20002664
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17502) - you deserved it (5593)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

#19958664
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (3006)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:55am - love - by InsomniacToBe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (3121)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14047) - you deserved it (5213)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

#19774662
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22576) - you deserved it (1423)

On 06/12/2012 at 1:29am - health - by fmmmmlll (woman) - United States

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6271) - you deserved it (44670)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (34321)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17329) - you deserved it (1626)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)



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