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beliebme's favorite FMLs
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Myballshurt / 08/03/2013 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:44am / United States / Health
by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by idontwanttoknow / 06/16/2013 at 7:37am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Abrams52 / 05/28/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML
by astalkerindeed / 05/16/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Money
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, due to a spate of burglaries, I updated the security on my house. Latches, locks, gates, I… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…