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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16584) - you deserved it (1754)
On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20232) - you deserved it (2407)
On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7989) - you deserved it (30504)
On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (4519)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13022) - you deserved it (1543)
Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11781) - you deserved it (3264)
On 09/24/2012 at 8:52pm - work - by MLAA (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18948) - you deserved it (1137)
On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15860) - you deserved it (1369)
On 09/23/2012 at 5:23am - work - by whatisthisidonteven (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14735) - you deserved it (6464)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21650) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was having a race with a little kid. I let him win to make him feel like a champion. After the race, he turned to me and said, "Maybe if you weren't so fat you would have won." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16286) - you deserved it (2695)
On 09/20/2012 at 10:40pm - kids - by tiredeolfatty (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (810)
On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (2469)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5711) - you deserved it (26808)
On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5332) - you deserved it (19738)
On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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