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babalooisbabaloo's favorite FMLs
by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm / United States (New York) / Geek
by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work
by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML
by FUSheldon / 11/28/2012 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck / 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Love
by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML
by Trinity / 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
by shit.... / 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy
by mayerstexmex69 / 11/08/2012 at 10:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK / 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Work
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 1:08am / United States (Arizona) / Health
- Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and… Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she… Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one…