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babalooisbabaloo's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
by hborkowski / 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
by Shelle / 12/26/2012 at 3:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 7:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML
by Iknoweverything / 12/22/2012 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm / United States / Love
by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch / 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML
by Bajar / 12/18/2012 at 2:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 12:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by elphi / 12/15/2012 at 1:11am / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
by mandybar15 / 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals
- Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or… Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex… Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize…