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babalooisbabaloo's favorite FMLs
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML
by SmallAngel / 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2013 at 6:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/17/2013 at 3:09pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous
by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous
by guy / 03/15/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Quiteannoyed / 03/09/2013 at 5:35am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Love
Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML
by Roses are Red / 03/07/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm / Germany (Bayern) / Work
by Ihatemylife / 03/03/2013 at 7:17am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML
by howannoying / 02/16/2013 at 1:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my bike brakes failed as I was going downhill. I ended up running a light and hit a car at… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today, my classmate told me that Russia has a larger population than China because Russia is bigger…