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Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (46654) - you deserved it (2985)
On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11635) - you deserved it (78877)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8042) - you deserved it (59461)
On 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm - health - by thedogkisser (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15613) - you deserved it (36526)
On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15613) - you deserved it (36526)
On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40804) - you deserved it (3551)
On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (2387)
On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (341822) - you deserved it (40703)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (93829) - you deserved it (3720)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (84763) - you deserved it (16561)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML
I agree, your life sucks (48099) - you deserved it (15110)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Em (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15366) - you deserved it (35846)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12779) - you deserved it (51322)
On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (166159) - you deserved it (6635)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55264) - you deserved it (6109)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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