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Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26854) - you deserved it (3548)
On 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)
Today, while in my drama class, my character in a play has to quickly jump up out from his desk. Somehow, my shirt got caught on the desk, ripping it almost completely off in front of a live audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (2052)
On 11/12/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by me - United States
Today, I got a perfect score on my French quiz, and I was told to have my mom sign it. What I didn't realize was that all the way at the bottom she wrote "Good Nathaly!" and "I love you!" surrounded by little hearts. The teacher hung it up anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13649) - you deserved it (3051)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by lmaoLOSER - United States (New York)
Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13466) - you deserved it (4716)
On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23444) - you deserved it (1814)
On 08/01/2010 at 6:38am - misc - by Rawr (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)
Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38382) - you deserved it (19508)
On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned my boyfriend had another girlfriend, his excuse was he was bipolar and each of his personalities need a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33925) - you deserved it (3523)
On 05/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by life sucks - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38297) - you deserved it (3114)
On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18373) - you deserved it (7815)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14057) - you deserved it (4652)
On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20959) - you deserved it (4004)
On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14069) - you deserved it (3956)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (1764)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54197) - you deserved it (6278)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (2226)
On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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