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Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8212) - you deserved it (17148)
On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16277) - you deserved it (3158)
On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (4117)
On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15275) - you deserved it (1220)
On 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm - health - by blue (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (1004)
On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31851) - you deserved it (3225)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (1057)
On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (3495)
On 06/27/2012 at 6:32am - work - by Wubba87 (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (1241)
On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13937) - you deserved it (25286)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6794) - you deserved it (28774)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15791) - you deserved it (2819)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10902) - you deserved it (18803)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4203) - you deserved it (15292)
Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (1874)
On 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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