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babalooisbabaloo's favorite FMLs
by darawbs / 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by onorexveritas / 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Health
by dumbass / 09/06/2012 at 2:46am / United States / Health
Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML
by divorcee / 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by rotezora / 09/02/2012 at 8:44am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
by The Horrible Older Sister / 09/02/2012 at 6:07am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
by Kat / 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML
by blue / 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
by m / 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Wubba87 / 06/27/2012 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work
by A.W / 06/24/2012 at 9:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm… Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel… Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how…