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abentoremember's FML badges

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abentoremember's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7275) - you deserved it (22756)

On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (1703)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20468) - you deserved it (39538)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML


I agree, your life sucks (40992) - you deserved it (25146)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41946) - you deserved it (10150)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (52242)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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