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abentoremember

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abentoremember's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

#20057702
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you deserved it (20237)

On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

#19991299
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30382) - you deserved it (1519)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18370) - you deserved it (36717)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39245) - you deserved it (24292)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38247) - you deserved it (9659)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20583) - you deserved it (49475)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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