About Zebediabolical : I'm better than you. This is not up for debate.
Zebediabolical's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
Zebediabolical's favorite FMLs
Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML
by 9726 / 11/01/2011 at 5:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
by boopadoop / 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to a concert. I got into a fist fight with a drunk girl. My older brother tried to pull me away from her by holding both my arms back. I spent the last half of the concert in the hospital because I couldn't shield my face. FML
by alliegator_13 / 10/17/2011 at 10:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 2:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML
by Daralea / 09/28/2011 at 1:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML
by ironik970 / 09/17/2011 at 2:56am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by bluestarr1 / 09/10/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Mattador / 09/06/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML
by BlootheBawss / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by nerofirst / 08/19/2011 at 9:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML
by maryrain / 08/11/2011 at 5:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and his bandmates were doing a live interview for a web show. Drunk off his ass, my boyfriend starts telling the internet how his ex-girlfriend is his biggest inspiration. I was standing right next to him. FML
by Btwigster / 07/18/2011 at 9:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by wolfie898 / 05/21/2011 at 3:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by spekledworf / 05/02/2011 at 5:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…