Zachthejoker

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Offline (the 03/30/2015 at 6:13am)

Zachthejoker

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7942
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Zachthejoker's page activity

Visits<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 6:32pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 12:28am<b>andv888</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:32pm<b>csi</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:13am<b>mozilicious</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 12:41pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 3:41pm<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 5:06pm<b>imsoeffingbored</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:28pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:37pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:48pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 9:07am<b>swick25</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 11:17pm<b>ayway</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 10:10pm<b>thepowerof4</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 11:21pm<b>bamagrl410</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:30pm<b>KaleyKhaotic</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 3:11am<b>ilovepewdie</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:35am<b>sisw</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 6:17pm

Zachthejoker's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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Zachthejoker's favorite FMLs

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

by Argh / 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

by Blaphlafagus / 10/31/2013 at 9:16pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Health

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

by anna / 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

by AML / 10/31/2013 at 10:30am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

by Shady_Soldier / 10/31/2013 at 4:41am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

by Rinelric1998 / 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

by thatsfine / 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

by scheisse / 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

by WTF / 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Love