Xx_Benny73_xX

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Offline (the 05/18/2015 at 7:47pm)

Xx_Benny73_xX

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6433
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About Xx_Benny73_xX : driving a racecar has been a dream my whole life!

Xx_Benny73_xX's page activity

Visits<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 12:12am<b>hduebdo</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 1:07am<b>SashaTaras</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 9:58pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:54am<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:26am<b>Viscouz</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 3:57pm<b>Xanster82</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 4:21am<b>BagelTheOtaku</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 10:04pm<b>pazuzus_intern</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 1:27pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 7:21pm<b>smc3107</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 5:04pm<b>A1armC1ock</b> - the 09/27/2012 at 5:14pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/24/2012 at 5:15am

Xx_Benny73_xX's FML badges

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Xx_Benny73_xX's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

by stoych / 10/08/2012 at 3:14am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

by BusinessTurtle / 10/06/2012 at 3:49am / United States (Iowa) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

by Darla / 10/05/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

by Sara / 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

by Anna / 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

by GamerTag / 10/02/2012 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

by raz / 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous