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VorpikeII

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VorpikeII
  • Town/Country : Somewhere your not, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 March 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 795
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About VorpikeII : Where to start... I guess by saying that I'm just a normal person,
I'm into Classic Rock, and some new music, my favourite bands are either Pink Floyd or Foo Fighters. My favourite movie is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!" I love reading, and being outdoors, although video games are also awesome. I'm also aspiring to become an astro physicist, or a scientist of some sort. I have ADHD, and I think that about sums it all up!

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VorpikeII's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48274) - you deserved it (29425)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

#20983492
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36207) - you deserved it (3955)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:58am - misc - by jessierules93 - United States (California)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (20727)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36030) - you deserved it (6126)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46644) - you deserved it (3738)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (7118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (7752)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML

#20080189
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6400) - you deserved it (16542)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (18978) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21106) - you deserved it (220721)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)



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