About Vorpikeii
Where to start... I guess by saying that I'm just a normal person, I'm into Classic Rock, and some new music, my favourite bands are either Pink Floyd or Foo Fighters. My favourite movie is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!" I love reading, and being outdoors, although video games are also awesome. I'm also aspiring to become an astro physicist, or a scientist of some sort. I have ADHD, and I think that about sums it all up!
Vorpikeii - Followers
Vorpikeii - Followed
Vorpikeii's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • This isn't what should be happening

    You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    41%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    31%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    3%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    24%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
    0%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    3%
The list of badges to find
Vorpikeii's favorite FMLs

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

By breathalizard - / Saturday 2 May 2009 06:21 / United States

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 9 August 2014 13:31 / United States - Akron

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

By anon - / Monday 13 January 2014 01:53 / United States - Bullhead City

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

By jessierules93 / Saturday 7 December 2013 05:58 / United States - San Francisco

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

By possibly a sweater - / Thursday 5 December 2013 22:26 / United States - Wharton