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UsernameTaken14

Offline (the 11/20/2014 at 6:09pm) | Search for a member

UsernameTaken14

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 August 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 634
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About UsernameTaken14 : 16, junior, NY

UsernameTaken14's page activity

Visits<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:49pm<b>whatOu</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:51am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:48pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:32pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:41pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:07pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:41pm<b>augiedd</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 9:03pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:14pm<b>infinitylove</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:23pm<b>OctoberJade</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 3:10pm<b>xxrush2112xx</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 1:44pm<b>lcl31</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:31pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 6:00pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 3:40am<b>jdjackdaniel4</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:46pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Hypophrenia</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:22pm

UsernameTaken14's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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UsernameTaken14's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45964) - you deserved it (8639)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (11754)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48297) - you deserved it (3424)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34825) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43916) - you deserved it (6208)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44493) - you deserved it (4206)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46035) - you deserved it (4122)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (2906)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42848) - you deserved it (5437)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21159) - you deserved it (37850)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50646) - you deserved it (6689)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my favorite teacher from high school, the one that really inspired me to become one myself. I told her that I'm in my last year of college preparing to become a teacher, to which she replied, "Wow, they really are letting anyone have a crack at being a teacher these days." FML

#21067542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42448) - you deserved it (4450)

On 02/21/2014 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21065584
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37002) - you deserved it (3451)

On 02/19/2014 at 4:09pm - work - by sarad206 (woman) - United States

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46175) - you deserved it (16977)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20553) - you deserved it (38607)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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