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Umbreon01100

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Umbreon01100

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 April 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 387
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Umbreon01100 : I play Cello and Bass in Orchestra (been playing bass for 3 years, cello for 1 year.) I like basketball, swimming, and video games. I'm also Freshman at Box Elder. If you want to talk feel free to Kik me at umbreon01100

Umbreon01100's page activity

Visits<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:25am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:20pm<b>jarobjent</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 12:42am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 11:33am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:45pm<b>annie_nk</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 3:23am

Umbreon01100's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Umbreon01100's badges

Umbreon01100's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

#21046460
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51697) - you deserved it (10927)

On 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by mylifesucks (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55928) - you deserved it (13756)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59472) - you deserved it (4348)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57448) - you deserved it (7808)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61564) - you deserved it (7261)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47525) - you deserved it (11153)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML

#20995972
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42673) - you deserved it (6182)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:17pm - money - by pissed (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49926) - you deserved it (9729)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46026) - you deserved it (7191)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46511) - you deserved it (5121)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48243) - you deserved it (8037)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54865) - you deserved it (4023)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40672) - you deserved it (41240)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46975) - you deserved it (4068)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

#20944097
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34912) - you deserved it (40331)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Cyprus (Nicosia)



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