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  • Number of visits : 418
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Tymaster5's page activity

Visits<b>I_AM_READING</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 9:08pm<b>iamatoadkisser</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:17pm<b>nickreymann</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:28pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:01pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:05pm<b>crowfragiledream</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 4:24pm<b>zandalee</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 4:00am<b>gnathrak</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 3:30pm<b>usaidwhat82</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 5:29pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:23pm<b>DalyaTheTurtle</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:08pm<b>bugfroggy</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:49am<b>quentinduhe</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 7:13am<b>m4hera</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:18am<b>crazystoner5150</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 11:27pm<b>melbrook10</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 12:34am<b>zoepie</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 6:09pm

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Tymaster5's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML


I agree, your life sucks (52636) - you deserved it (5538)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (41027) - you deserved it (8330)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML


I agree, your life sucks (40761) - you deserved it (22423)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57395) - you deserved it (6999)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33689) - you deserved it (5327)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16481) - you deserved it (52619)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42367) - you deserved it (5068)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34854) - you deserved it (14227)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Sidney (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (5472)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (4201)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33087) - you deserved it (25497)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

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  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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