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Tymaster5

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

Tymaster5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 April 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 450
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Tymaster5 : Hi I'm Ty and the dog in the picture, her name is Pyper and she's almost 2years old.

Tymaster5's page activity

Visits<b>Infamous278</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:03am<b>I_AM_READING</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 9:08pm<b>iamatoadkisser</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:17pm<b>nickreymann</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:28pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:01pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:05pm<b>crowfragiledream</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 4:24pm<b>zandalee</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 4:00am<b>gnathrak</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 3:30pm<b>usaidwhat82</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 5:29pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:23pm<b>DalyaTheTurtle</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:08pm<b>bugfroggy</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:49am<b>quentinduhe</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 7:13am<b>m4hera</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:18am<b>crazystoner5150</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 11:27pm<b>melbrook10</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 12:34am

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Tymaster5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (6210)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35854) - you deserved it (9808)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (31310)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32518) - you deserved it (5328)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52708) - you deserved it (5543)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (8333)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (22447)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57434) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33720) - you deserved it (5329)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16491) - you deserved it (52669)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (5070)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML

#18159889
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34887) - you deserved it (14231)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Sidney (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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