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Tymaster5

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Tymaster5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 April 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 482
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Tymaster5 : Hi I'm Ty and the dog in the picture, her name is Pyper and she's almost 2years old.

Tymaster5's page activity

Visits<b>bedforddanesss</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:22pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:17am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:03am<b>I_AM_READING</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 9:08pm<b>iamatoadkisser</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:17pm<b>nickreymann</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:28pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:01pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:05pm<b>crowfragiledream</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 4:24pm<b>zandalee</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 4:00am<b>gnathrak</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 3:30pm<b>usaidwhat82</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 5:29pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:23pm<b>DalyaTheTurtle</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:08pm<b>bugfroggy</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:49am<b>quentinduhe</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 7:13am<b>m4hera</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:18am

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Tymaster5's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (12676)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29458) - you deserved it (7129)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37585) - you deserved it (10597)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (32168)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33246) - you deserved it (5367)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52788) - you deserved it (5546)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41080) - you deserved it (8338)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40862) - you deserved it (22461)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57464) - you deserved it (7007)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33742) - you deserved it (5330)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16511) - you deserved it (52699)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42422) - you deserved it (5075)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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