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Tymaster5

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Tymaster5
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 133
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Tymaster5's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51012) - you deserved it (6143)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (4237)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12852) - you deserved it (38816)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35008) - you deserved it (3806)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML

#18159889
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29176) - you deserved it (12629)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Sidney (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

#17794550
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (4085)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

#17734043
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25923) - you deserved it (3011)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

#17710745
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (18667)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

#17621188
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16164) - you deserved it (8363)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

#17612364
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22433) - you deserved it (4008)

On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

#17575324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (3020)

On 08/25/2011 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Puppy Loverr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

#16635570
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8310) - you deserved it (35430)

On 06/12/2011 at 10:50pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Indiana)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10955) - you deserved it (36940)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10955) - you deserved it (36940)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)



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