About TheStripedBeatle : Don't Blink.
Blink and you're dead.
Good luck-
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16391) - you deserved it (2075)
On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11486) - you deserved it (26211)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19549) - you deserved it (7014)
On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15949) - you deserved it (3035)
On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47876) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71651) - you deserved it (9143)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (1310)
On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (5073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11295) - you deserved it (37862)
On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (3079)
On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45499) - you deserved it (7572)
On 05/11/2009 at 8:38am - animals - by prevostsrocklike - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105241) - you deserved it (7701)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by hipprep83 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9335) - you deserved it (58795)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML
I agree, your life sucks (4980) - you deserved it (18887)
On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)
Monday 20 May 2013
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