About Thestripedbeatle
Don't Blink. Blink and you're dead. Good luck-
Thestripedbeatle - Followers
Thestripedbeatle - Followed
Thestripedbeatle's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • One ring to rule them all

    You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
    0%
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
    0%
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    9%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    1%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    6%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    30%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    14%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    3%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    3%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    6%
The list of badges to find
Thestripedbeatle's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

By Hth / Thursday 15 January 2009 11:14 / United States

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 24 December 2011 02:49 / Australia

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 2 November 2011 07:12 / United States

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

By melikeyturtles / Monday 10 October 2011 04:13 / United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 19 September 2011 14:39 / United States