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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (1571)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)
Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19094) - you deserved it (5901)
On 07/27/2012 at 9:45am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4547) - you deserved it (32064)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31279) - you deserved it (7152)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20390) - you deserved it (9456)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20390) - you deserved it (9456)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (1462)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (1937)
On 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm - love - by lurna301 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20800) - you deserved it (2088)
On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19171) - you deserved it (1441)
On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (2353)
On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16500) - you deserved it (2485)
On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26489) - you deserved it (27836)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24174) - you deserved it (4298)
On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7737) - you deserved it (21736)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 17 June 2013
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