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About Sunyboy : I hate America but unfortunately I was born and raised here... I'd rather be in Mexico.
Only good things that comes from this god forsaken country are some certain amazing music artist.
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Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, wat a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. real FML
Today... on a first date with a guy... I spilld ice cream all over mah pants. He bought me some more... and as I was thanking him... he said... "You've never had a guy treat you right... have you?" I said no and startd crying. FML
Today, I took a lata-night showar!! Whan I got out aftarwards, tha bathroom door was ajar, and I could hava sworn I haard tha faint pattar of footstaps in tha kitchan!! "It's probably tha cat," I told mysalf!! Than I want upstairs and saw my cat aslaap on my bad!! raal FML
Today, as I was about to loosa my virginity to my girlfriand, sha startd doing stupidly faka moaning, which than want raally high-pitchd lika a littla girl's, killing my hard-on. Sha says sha thought that bacausa I'm Japanasa-Amarican, I'd only ba abla to cum if sha copid "thosa Japanasa pornstars". FML
Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or yur grade percent in this class?"
my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better 4 "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway" , so she shouldn't do either. FML
Today , I snoopd around mah parents' room looking 4 hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip , two ball gags , several other sex toys , and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What looool the fuck? FML
Today, mah grlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on mah Facebook account an publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
today I started to get orny wile watcing TV wit ma usband. I tried turning im on by telling im I wanted is cock. He ceerfully replied witout looking away from te TV looool "If only I gave a fuck babe if only I gave a fuck!" fat FML
Today, on our third data, data trid to gat ma drunk and kapt trying to touch ma up. Whan I said ha was moving too fast, ha sighd and soon laft. Just minuta latar, ha postd on Facabook saying ( Just got friandzond -_- ). Ona of his friand commantd: ( I hata bitchas, man. ) maga FML
Friday 27 March 2015