About Softballchhickk : Hey I'm Mariah. I love baseball. Starwars & spiderman keeps me living.
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Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25400) - you deserved it (4108)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6625) - you deserved it (44641)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13458) - you deserved it (17791)
On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46638) - you deserved it (220)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50762) - you deserved it (3669)
On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)
Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18238) - you deserved it (2109)
On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19961) - you deserved it (3567)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15844) - you deserved it (4462)
On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (2216)
On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (3825)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (2961)
On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34107) - you deserved it (2875)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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