About Softballchhickk : Hey I'm Mariah. I love baseball. Starwars & spiderman keeps me living.
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Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17378) - you deserved it (1307)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4509) - you deserved it (51321)
On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18052) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17315) - you deserved it (2006)
On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15196) - you deserved it (1611)
On 08/20/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13228) - you deserved it (799)
On 08/20/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Cottagecheeseha (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (1049)
On 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48954) - you deserved it (2183)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48954) - you deserved it (2183)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7879) - you deserved it (21618)
On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10542) - you deserved it (32406)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (1293)
On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (1402)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (1402)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (6289)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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