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Smasher39

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Smasher39

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 31 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1031
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Smasher39's page activity

Visits<b>karmachameeleon</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 7:45am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 1:02am<b>Catkam623</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 9:19am<b>Jiplo</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 6:24pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 11:09pm<b>XxEmiMeowxX</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 10:41pm

Smasher39's FML badges

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50 favourites

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Smasher39's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43230) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (4769)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42886) - you deserved it (4669)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38225) - you deserved it (2616)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38897) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40752) - you deserved it (2428)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (11012)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the library. I had to use the restroom, where I ended up singing in bad, made-up Japanese the whole time. When I went back across the library, my brother informed me that everyone could clearly hear me. FML

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (36253)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46063) - you deserved it (3846)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (48962)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46495) - you deserved it (3796)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56293) - you deserved it (6673)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50769) - you deserved it (6465)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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