Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shawnee_dear

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 8:19am) | Search for a member

Shawnee_dear

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1918
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Shawnee_dear : Pun person

Shawnee_dear's page activity

Visits<b>man_eating_bunny</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:55pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Landonthegreat23</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:30pm<b>DrWonders29</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 6:08am<b>MountainGiant87</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:40am<b>superwolf33</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:45am<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:57pm<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:40pm<b>BridgieLou19</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:40pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:34pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:44pm<b>ijulez</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:29pm<b>robbedoes</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:10am<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:13am<b>saudmx3</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:59am<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:46am<b>mystery_user</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:37am<b>jennlody</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:33am

Liked!<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:57am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:34am

Shawnee_dear's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

See all of Shawnee_dear's badges

Shawnee_dear's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43680) - you deserved it (5279)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40872) - you deserved it (9487)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35137) - you deserved it (11499)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35889) - you deserved it (18854)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (7740)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (6550)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

#16060289
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (5205)

On 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by parkingisawesome - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

#15999869
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30407) - you deserved it (3152)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:02am - misc - by rb - United States

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

#15976359
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (5229)

On 04/29/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Jims (man) - Singapore

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44880) - you deserved it (4803)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34851) - you deserved it (3720)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28933) - you deserved it (17270)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12813) - you deserved it (38704)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend told me that her favourite aunt died last night of a heart attack. The first thing I could think of to say was, "Oh no, is she okay?" FML

#15935216
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15358) - you deserved it (36215)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by Username - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: