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Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18696) - you deserved it (2252) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8753) - you deserved it (39283)
Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3323) - you deserved it (9837)
On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9083) - you deserved it (24573)
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20086) - you deserved it (7299)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17314) - you deserved it (8100)
On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (19828)
On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29803) - you deserved it (7266)
Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8495) - you deserved it (908)
On 09/29/2011 at 9:56pm - misc - by hellokitty133 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (1738)
On 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm - health - by Vxale (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (3056)
On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29486) - you deserved it (1779)
On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you deserved it (8087)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11987) - you deserved it (35281)
On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29465) - you deserved it (1564)
On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
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