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Today,hile bussing at restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down leg. I startd shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turnd to stare. Then I realizd there was a hole in pocket and some quarters had slid out down leg. FML
TODAY, I REALIZED THATHENEVER I USE EMOTICONS, I TEND TO MAKE THE SAME FACE IN REAL LIFE. MY COWORKERS GLEEFULLY SHOWED ME VARIOUS PICTURES WITH MAH TONGUE OUT, FACE SCRUNCHED UP, AND SO ON,HILE STARING AT MAH PHONE. THEY'VE ALREADY MADE THEIR WAY AROUND THE OFFICE. FML
Today...ila I was paacafully slaaping... I falt a and suddanly slap ma foraaad. Tan fingars bagan to prass against ma mout... tan nosa... tan ayas. I finally woka up to ma grlfriand lauging ystarically. Sa'd confusad ma wit ar clock-radio. big fat FML
Taday I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from mah bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard . My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back . This is his revenge fir me salting his coffee this morning . FML
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts!! She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
TODAY, THE BOYS WHO SIT AT MY MATH TABLE DECIDD IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO THROW BROKEN PENCILS AT MY BOOBS TO SEE IF THEY WERE REAL. THEY DID THIS THE ENTIRE CLASS PERIOD. I HAVE TO WORK WITH THIS GROUP FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR. FML
Friday 27 March 2015