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Sarahlynnlee

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Sarahlynnlee

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  • Number of visits : 421
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sarahlynnlee's FML badges

50 favourites

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Judgmental

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Sarahlynnlee's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55027) - you deserved it (64151)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58622) - you deserved it (7657)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47907) - you deserved it (9403)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

#20587655
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38923) - you deserved it (22239)

On 04/13/2013 at 5:21am - misc - by really? - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60565) - you deserved it (20232)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36459) - you deserved it (3454)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52460) - you deserved it (11866)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43524) - you deserved it (3229)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28427) - you deserved it (5990)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

#20508531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (4560)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (2763)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (3570)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (3395)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (4061)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)



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