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SShelbyy

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SShelbyy
  • Town/Country : Fort Rich, AK
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1982
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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SShelbyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (14716)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27547) - you deserved it (6899)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

#19701580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19787) - you deserved it (1057)

On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43836) - you deserved it (8536)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11628) - you deserved it (51470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15270) - you deserved it (43096)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (2519)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23824) - you deserved it (8990)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (3980)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

#19296842
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22202) - you deserved it (9501)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (24926)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27850) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7516) - you deserved it (40054)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (3668)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States



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