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Ray_of_midnight

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Ray_of_midnight
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2256
  • Number of comments : 1129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

Ray_of_midnight's last visitors

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

#16499106
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (3791)

On 06/04/2011 at 1:37pm - love - by hcflorence1 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML

#16487802
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22912) - you deserved it (6571)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:23pm - work - by janice - United States

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24047) - you deserved it (2888)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

#16476285
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21610) - you deserved it (2143)

On 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by amf (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25819) - you deserved it (3181)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

#16467206
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26630) - you deserved it (3112)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm - animals - by brittaneejanex - United States

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52821) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

#16458606
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22327) - you deserved it (2201)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:25pm - money - by GTR - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20610) - you deserved it (56138)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53261) - you deserved it (9956)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

#16351736
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41569) - you deserved it (5741)

On 05/26/2011 at 12:15am - intimacy - by blahblah493 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (8312)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)



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