Ray_of_midnight

Search for a member

Offline (the 07/18/2016 at 6:36am)

Ray_of_midnight

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Somerville, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1966 (50 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4197
  • Number of comments : 1221
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

Ray_of_midnight's page activity

Visits<b>French_giirl</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 6:08pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 3:45pm<b>Furthea</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 12:28am<b>Capt_T0asty</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:19am<b>Bulbadragon</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 5:09pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:16pm<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:10pm<b>bandeek</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 8:39pm<b>JLBavard</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:26pm<b>nabeelamakani</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:32pm<b>776279</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 3:34am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 7:54pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:16pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:51pm<b>laurenswims13</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:43am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:19pm<b>gracethetwin</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:54pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:07am

Ray_of_midnight's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ray_of_midnight's badges

Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

by yup / 06/05/2011 at 3:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

by hcflorence1 / 06/04/2011 at 1:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML

by janice / 06/03/2011 at 7:23pm / United States / Work

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

by anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

by amf / 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

by nikto / 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm / Love

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

by brittaneejanex / 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm / United States / Animals

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

by GTR / 06/01/2011 at 9:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

by blahblah493 / 05/26/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

by Jon / 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy