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Ray_of_midnight

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Ray_of_midnight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2864
  • Number of comments : 1162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

Ray_of_midnight's page activity

Visits<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:35am<b>messedup4ever</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:57pm<b>LadyLelan</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:51am<b>fairydust7</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:49am<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:03pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:32am<b>mollykg</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Hammie126</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Monster27</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:48pm<b>howsthisforaname</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:38am<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:19pm<b>BrotherTheo</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:07am<b>gilberto598</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:17pm<b>echokitty</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 1:11pm<b>Donkness</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:10pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 5:39am<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:32pm

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Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

#16613518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30981) - you deserved it (2948)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by Macy (woman) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39673) - you deserved it (5001)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54384) - you deserved it (6844)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36254) - you deserved it (7128)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (47629)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (12098)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40241) - you deserved it (9644)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (6869)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44556) - you deserved it (4600)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

#16558190
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32685) - you deserved it (7994)

On 06/08/2011 at 2:55am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

#16531182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49381) - you deserved it (3632)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by Danielle - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

#16525568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31466) - you deserved it (3292)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by rapturezz - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29662) - you deserved it (7031)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (51855)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49961) - you deserved it (5275)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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FMyLife, world tour

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