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Ray_of_midnight

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Ray_of_midnight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2714
  • Number of comments : 1155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

Ray_of_midnight's page activity

Visits<b>mollykg</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Hammie126</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Monster27</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:48pm<b>howsthisforaname</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:38am<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:19pm<b>BrotherTheo</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:07am<b>gilberto598</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:17pm<b>echokitty</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 1:11pm<b>Donkness</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:10pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 5:39am<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:32pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:43pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 12:44am<b>gunner_12</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:18pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 3:23am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:20pm<b>AFCCT</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 3:44pm

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Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

#16613518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30507) - you deserved it (2920)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by Macy (woman) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39606) - you deserved it (4996)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54320) - you deserved it (6841)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (7120)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (47589)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31219) - you deserved it (12084)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (9642)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32753) - you deserved it (6864)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44505) - you deserved it (4595)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

#16558190
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32632) - you deserved it (7990)

On 06/08/2011 at 2:55am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

#16531182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49299) - you deserved it (3630)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by Danielle - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

#16525568
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (3287)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by rapturezz - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29616) - you deserved it (7024)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (51803)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49867) - you deserved it (5270)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)



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