Ray_of_midnight

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Offline (the 09/20/2016 at 3:47am)

Ray_of_midnight

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Somerville, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1966 (50 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4396
  • Number of comments : 1224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

Ray_of_midnight's page activity

Visits<b>French_giirl</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 6:08pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 3:45pm<b>Furthea</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 12:28am<b>Capt_T0asty</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:19am<b>Bulbadragon</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 5:09pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:16pm<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:10pm<b>bandeek</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 8:39pm<b>JLBavard</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:26pm<b>nabeelamakani</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:32pm<b>776279</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 3:34am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 7:54pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:16pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:51pm<b>laurenswims13</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:43am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:19pm<b>gracethetwin</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:54pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:07am

Ray_of_midnight's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ray_of_midnight's badges

Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

by Khrixas_069 / 06/18/2011 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

by Inconnu / 06/18/2011 at 1:13am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

by Anonyme / 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Love

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

by crushed dreams / 06/16/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

by randomjulz / 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm / United States / Love

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

by anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with someone from one of his last relationships because he thought it would turn me on. FML

Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML

by UnlovedGrandchild / 06/13/2011 at 9:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML

by secretpornstar / 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Intimacy

Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

by fuckcops / 06/13/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML

by rileynautumn / 06/13/2011 at 3:04pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

by Evaki1 / 06/13/2011 at 10:24am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

by disgusteddaughter / 06/13/2011 at 4:58am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Florida) / Money