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Ray_of_midnight

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Ray_of_midnight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2725
  • Number of comments : 1155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

Ray_of_midnight's page activity

Visits<b>mollykg</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Hammie126</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Monster27</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:48pm<b>howsthisforaname</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:38am<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:19pm<b>BrotherTheo</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:07am<b>gilberto598</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:17pm<b>echokitty</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 1:11pm<b>Donkness</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:10pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 5:39am<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:32pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:43pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 12:44am<b>gunner_12</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:18pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 3:23am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:20pm<b>AFCCT</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 3:44pm

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Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29489) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML

#17374758
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (2253)

On 08/05/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

#17029350
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (20059)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

#17001302
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8479) - you deserved it (71836)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

#16985771
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40699) - you deserved it (4042)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33343) - you deserved it (4057)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

#16908101
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (3306)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by mymomsstupid - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

#16896925
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29828) - you deserved it (4768)

On 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Qwerty - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML

#16886494
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38813) - you deserved it (2989)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by fmylovelife - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

#16876120
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46960) - you deserved it (6385)

On 06/27/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by grizzlybear (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

#16776471
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40124) - you deserved it (3181)

On 06/21/2011 at 3:08am - health - by Caeru (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45796) - you deserved it (3792)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

#16727847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43486) - you deserved it (5391)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14270) - you deserved it (52082)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

#16722873
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49985) - you deserved it (3377) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/18/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Inconnu - France



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