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Ray_of_midnight

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Ray_of_midnight

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Somerville, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1966 (49 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3511
  • Number of comments : 1207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

Ray_of_midnight's page activity

Visits<b>boricualuv</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 7:54pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:16pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:51pm<b>laurenswims13</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:43am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:19pm<b>gracethetwin</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:54pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:07pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:33pm<b>reburkah</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:50pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 5:54am<b>swanheart</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:40am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Megt567</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:17pm<b>boogery</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 12:42am<b>yehyeh</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 5:15am<b>Pumpkinsteph</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:51pm<b>kupokid94</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:32pm<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:35am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:07am

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Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (16289)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32125) - you deserved it (3708)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32125) - you deserved it (3708)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15365) - you deserved it (27817)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33503) - you deserved it (2312)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36590) - you deserved it (6911)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7748) - you deserved it (58982)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47621) - you deserved it (8407)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89488) - you deserved it (13973)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

#17707325
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (3529)

On 09/09/2011 at 10:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22806) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (3875)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (3517)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31302) - you deserved it (4157)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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