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Ray_of_midnight

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Ray_of_midnight
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1966 (46 years)
  • Number of visits : 897
  • Number of comments : 418
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

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Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (3459) - you deserved it (5865)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (10187) - you deserved it (659)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (25225) - you deserved it (4490)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (5153) - you deserved it (38241)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601 (335)

I agree, your life sucks (33724) - you deserved it (5535)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595 (410)

I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (3152)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

#17707325 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (11469) - you deserved it (1005)

On 09/09/2011 at 10:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (15753) - you deserved it (1791)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (13917) - you deserved it (2434)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my husband Googling the Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (2332)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (10580) - you deserved it (1209)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my mother-in-law is house hunting in my town. There is a house for sale 2 doors down from me. In her price range. FML

#17574170 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (1321)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by momma6126 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20101) - you deserved it (2260)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML

#17374758 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (1450)

On 08/05/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

#17029350 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (14424)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States