This member hasn't filled in their description.
Philliesfan9391's FML badges
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Philliesfan9391's favorite FMLs
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids
by bellaskyeb / 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health
by Anonymous / 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML
by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
by blah / 07/21/2011 at 10:10am / United States / Health
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…
- Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!"… Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk.… Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely…