Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PenguinBitch

Search for a member

PenguinBitch

90Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16791
  • Number of comments : 1123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Alderaan was the newest member of the United Federation of Planets. Unfortunately, the once stable black hole connecting Alderaan and the Federation, destabilized. The distress signal received from StarFleet was lost, leading to the destruction of Alderaan by the Galactic Empire.

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:09am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:12pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:05pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:54am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 8:45am<b>Sudoc</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 7:03am<b>lizgb80</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 7:56am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 9:51pm<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 3:42pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 5:06pm<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 8:43am<b>MrsDovahkiin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:01am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:14am<b>TripleDallas123</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:42am<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 4:30pm<b>oiler</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 3:05pm<b>Kamikazek</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 3:46am<b>gabbertz</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:16pm

Fucked!<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:09am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>MrsDovahkiin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:02pm<b>TripleDallas123</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:43am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:51pm<b>jay11kpt</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:41am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:36am<b>klutz44</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:10am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 9:01am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:24am<b>CaletheLion</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:30am<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:18am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:36am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:08am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:26am<b>kylalaffertyy</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:28pm<b>NotLemon</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:25pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54858) - you deserved it (5735)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45925) - you deserved it (4174)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

#20947778
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47008) - you deserved it (4937)

On 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by s3xygrandpa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47118) - you deserved it (4296)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45219) - you deserved it (11112)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54585) - you deserved it (5646)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51023) - you deserved it (5605)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18357) - you deserved it (47593)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94192) - you deserved it (6873)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40345) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (9008)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40692) - you deserved it (11919)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40943) - you deserved it (4382)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42694) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: