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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

39Liked!

PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11215
  • Number of comments : 1067
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Hello everybody! Uhh shoot me message and don't be a creeper yeah?
About PenguinBitch: I chose this name in hopes that it's easily recognizable and remembered. Name does not define the character, although 'Penguin' might mirror my likes of suits.

About me: I'm bilingual, going for trilingual. Movie goer. Business student. My favorites shows include Lost, Breaking Bad, and Greys Anatomy. I love sports. Played football and soccer. This site makes me laugh, especially the comments, so keep it up!!

Happy FML'ling!!

😬😊👊😡😢😪😤😎🐧

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>Blizzicus</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Wizardo</b> - 14 hours ago<b>alars175</b> - 16 hours ago<b>kidinkbaby</b> - 17 hours ago<b>oxythemoron</b> - 18 hours ago<b>aylamarie93</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:17pm<b>maverick1752</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:42pm<b>RandomPersonWho</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:56am<b>doctor__who</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:03am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:58pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:27pm<b>ollis</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:58pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 6:33am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:14am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:08pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:42am<b>YippeKiay</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:53pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:54pm

Liked!<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:14am<b>ollis</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:03am<b>zikangtng</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:47am<b>feven</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:45am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:04pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:31pm<b>ThatllDoDonkey</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:28am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:17pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:20am<b>gerardtheneko</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 9:17am<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Azang7</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:44am<b>colby6666</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 4:15am<b>LaurenRoxsU</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:07am<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 5:44pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86947) - you deserved it (6204)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (3379)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (8674)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37355) - you deserved it (10641)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38290) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39692) - you deserved it (3098)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43189) - you deserved it (4548)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

#20934627
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32354) - you deserved it (3800)

On 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56230) - you deserved it (3755)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

#20931509
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44076) - you deserved it (4485)

On 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by monsterdanceman (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (39135)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

#20922962
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43038) - you deserved it (3640)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm - work - by amy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43685) - you deserved it (14479)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

#20915004
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33022) - you deserved it (14270)

On 10/10/2013 at 10:11am - animals - by failure (man) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42134) - you deserved it (2868)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States



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