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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7776
  • Number of comments : 904
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Hello FML'ers. My dream is to reach 1k comments and never come back. I'm playing around, this site it too good to leave. Been here since 2012 and met some interesting users. My favorite user is my good friend Welshite. Well shit, I guess that's all I have to say. You can ask for my Instagram and we can follow and be friends and be..*outside voice* "they don't care you dweeb!!"

HAPPY FML'ling!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - 34 minutes ago<b>lovelypink7</b> - one hour ago<b>buckdharma</b> - 4 hours ago<b>678bebe</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Anomalymous</b> - 19 hours ago<b>moldypickles</b> - 20 hours ago<b>tiwan</b> - 22 hours ago<b>retroSublime</b> - 22 hours ago<b>SecretSociety7</b> - 24 hours ago<b>BBlah</b> - 24 hours ago<b>pinkpig23</b> - yesterday at 7:26pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - yesterday at 6:56pm<b>groovy579</b> - yesterday at 6:16pm<b>CrazyOvrMustangs</b> - yesterday at 6:03pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - yesterday at 5:42pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - yesterday at 5:40pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - yesterday at 5:22pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - yesterday at 5:19pm

Liked!<b>Welshite</b> - just now<b>Emi1y</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 7:10am<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:29pm

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55293) - you deserved it (3690)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

#20931509
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (4395)

On 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by monsterdanceman (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27179) - you deserved it (39011)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

#20922962
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41641) - you deserved it (3511)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm - work - by amy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43556) - you deserved it (14435)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

#20915004
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32438) - you deserved it (14049)

On 10/10/2013 at 10:11am - animals - by failure (man) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41983) - you deserved it (2864)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50442) - you deserved it (3572)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57076) - you deserved it (3374)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39368) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (3104)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43077) - you deserved it (3180)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51336) - you deserved it (7133)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (38734)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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