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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16129
  • Number of comments : 1114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Happy FML'ling.

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Visits<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 2:42am<b>fuzzy101606</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 4:41am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 11:24pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 3:01am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:51am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 10:50am<b>MadEyeMoony</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:23am<b>heyitscoley</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:46pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:39pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 10:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:34pm<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:00am<b>backwoodsbabe95</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:53pm<b>CaletheLion</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:30pm<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 1:18am<b>CrispyBacon69</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:14am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 9:26am

Fucked!<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 9:01am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:24am<b>CaletheLion</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:30am<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:18am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:36am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:08am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:26am<b>kylalaffertyy</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:28pm<b>NotLemon</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:25pm<b>terspal</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:32pm<b>pollymo14</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:00pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:12am<b>carilica</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Unbearable</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:16am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:29pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:21am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:12am

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48978) - you deserved it (6941)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML


Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48625) - you deserved it (11906)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42742) - you deserved it (4139)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39245) - you deserved it (7532)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46398) - you deserved it (3649)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39063) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59194) - you deserved it (13412)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML


I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (3544)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (3705)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45450) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/12/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (7328)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML


I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (3591)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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